Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the School of Cock: the most rambunctious, rollicking, and downright riotous cocktail classroom this side of the Mississippi! Here, beneath the twinkling fairy lights and the gentle hum of a jazz saxophone, you'll find an intoxicating (pun intended) blend of mischief, mastery, and mouthwatering margaritas. This isn't your grandma's stuffy, stodgy cocktail class - oh no, this is a place where the ice cubes are as large as your head and the shakers shake with all the passion of a New Orleans Mardi Gras parade. So, if you're ready to unleash your inner mixologist, pack your bar bag and join us at the School of Cock! 🍹🥂
First things first: let's talk about the teachers. They go by names like 'Slim Shake,' 'Shaken Sally,' and 'Stirred Sam.' Each one is a bonafide cocktail maestro, with years of bartending experience and a hearty dose of wit and charm. They'll guide you through the art of shaking, stirring, muddling, and zesting with all the patience and encouragement of a loving mother and the energy of a caffeinated puppy. And, if you make a mistake - which is inevitable in this wild world of mixology - they'll be there to pick up the pieces and give you another shot (or two).
Now, let's talk about the curriculum. It's a smorgasbord of delight, with lessons on classic cocktails like the Old Fashioned, the Daiquiri, and the Martini, as well as more exotic concoctions that'll make your taste buds dance the tango, like the Sazerac, the Corpse Reviver No. 2, and the Singapore Sling. Each class is filled with hands-on learning, so you can expect to be behind the bar, shaking up your own drinks and savoring every sip. And, at the end of each session, you'll leave with a newfound confidence in your cocktail-making abilities - and maybe even a few new friends!
But it's not all fun and games at the School of Cock. There's also a strong emphasis on sustainability and responsible drinking. You'll learn about the importance of using locally sourced ingredients, reducing waste, and serving drinks responsibly. It's all part of the School of Cock's mission to educate and inspire a new generation of cocktail enthusiasts - ones who understand that the joy of mixology goes beyond the final product and extends to the people and planet we share this beautiful world with.
So, if you're feeling adventurous, curious, or just plain thirsty, come join us at the School of Cock! We promise a one-of-a-kind learning experience filled with laughter, knowledge, and, of course, plenty of delicious cocktails. Cheers to your future as a master mixologist!